1.Chuck Norris poate să dea foc la furnici cu lupa.
2.Ştii de ce doarme Chuck Norris cu lumina aprinsă? Întunericului îi e frică de el.
3.Elodia a fost ultima persoană care a dat ochii cu Chuck Norris.
4.Chuck Norris nu face flotări - el împinge pământul.
5.Mulţi oameni au pijamale cu Superman. Superman are pijamale cu Chuck Norris.
6.Chuck Norris a lovit o singură dată pe lângă - de atunci cerul e albastru.
7.Pe Chuck Norris nu-l interesează cât e ceasul - el decide timpul.
8.Chuck Norris a numărat până la infinit. De două ori.
9.Chuck Norris nu foloseşte prezervativ pentru că nu e nevoie de protecţie pentru Chuck Norris.
10.Chuck Norris a lovit odată un cal în barbă - descendenţii acelui cal se numesc acum girafe.
11.Mai eşti? ... sau ai dat ochii cu Chuck Norris?
12.Nu exista bombă atomică... E doar Chuck Norris când se aruncă din avion fără paraşută.
13.O piatră poate crăpa în două... Chuck Norris a fost singurul care a crăpat două pietre într-una una.
14.Când Chuck Norris îţi arată degetul, nu o face ca să te înjure... doar îţi arată câte secunde mai ai de trait!
15.Ştii de ce plâng copiii la naştere? Pentru că ştiu că vor trăi într-o lume cu Chuck Norris.
16.De ce purtau pilotii kamikaze casca? Le era frica de Chuck Norris!
17.Chuck Norris nu ascultă muzică, muzica îl ascultă pe Chuck Norris.
18.Chuck Norris doarme cu perna sub pistol.
19.Nu există lesbiene, ci doar femei care nu l-au cunoscut încă pe Chuck Norris.
20.În loc de picături de ochi, Chuck Norris foloseşte sos picant.
21.Chuck Norris joacă ruleta ruseasca cu pistolul plin. Şi câştigă mereu.
22.Chuck Norris nu va face niciodată infarct. Inima nu e atât de tâmpita ca să-l atace.
23.Zâmbetul lui Chuck Norris a readus odată un caţeluş la viaţă.
24.Chuck Norris a înghiţit odată un borcan de somnifere. L-au făcut să clipească.
Se afișează postările cu eticheta statusuri engleza. Afișați toate postările
Se afișează postările cu eticheta statusuri engleza. Afișați toate postările
Statusuri messenger de vara
1. The winner takes it all !!
2. In the middle of ecstasy !!!
3. Eu Ma Omor, adica EMO.
4. A aparut un nou tip de pizza. Pizza EMO, care se taie singura.
5. O masina care merge cu viteza luminii va avea farurile aprinse?
6. Fuck dus, dar si pe tine daca vrei...
7. Cei care incearca sa isi inece necazurile in bautura uita un lucru: necazurile stiu sa inoate.
8. Cearta-ti prietenul in ascuns si lauda-l in public!
9. Un cerc de prieteni nu se face cu compasul…
10.Don’t be sad, don’t be blue..Frankenstein was ugly too
11.He who laughs last, laughs best! But he who laughs first , sees the point
12.DND! not @ my mouse !
13.Pe bloc cu furculita, verific daca mai fulgera.
14. Ce par frumos ai… pacat ca iti iese din nas!
15. Pe vremuri Dracula se hranea cu fete virgine in 2008 a murit de foame!
2. In the middle of ecstasy !!!
3. Eu Ma Omor, adica EMO.
4. A aparut un nou tip de pizza. Pizza EMO, care se taie singura.
5. O masina care merge cu viteza luminii va avea farurile aprinse?
6. Fuck dus, dar si pe tine daca vrei...
7. Cei care incearca sa isi inece necazurile in bautura uita un lucru: necazurile stiu sa inoate.
8. Cearta-ti prietenul in ascuns si lauda-l in public!
9. Un cerc de prieteni nu se face cu compasul…
10.Don’t be sad, don’t be blue..Frankenstein was ugly too
11.He who laughs last, laughs best! But he who laughs first , sees the point
12.DND! not @ my mouse !
13.Pe bloc cu furculita, verific daca mai fulgera.
14. Ce par frumos ai… pacat ca iti iese din nas!
15. Pe vremuri Dracula se hranea cu fete virgine in 2008 a murit de foame!
Statusuri in engleza
1. Confusius say: Man who eat jelly beans fart in technicolor
2. Todays another day time for new beginnings, yesterday I said mean things, but you know I didn’t mean it. It’s like running out on someone you love even though you still love them, all I needed was time to think, and realize how lucky I am. So when I said don’t talk to me and slammed the door in your face, what I meant to say was I love you and my door is always open, life wouldn’t be the same without you by me every step of the way
3. Im not addicted…I’m just affraid of that voice that says ‘goodbye’
4. My two biggest problems are addiction to the internet and procrastination. I’m away from the Internet now…I’ll work on procrastination later
5. I hate it when someone asks me ‘If everyone else jumped off a bridge, would you do it too?’ So, I’m on my way to go jump off a bridge because I wanted to be a trend setter and jump off the bridge first. I won’t be jumping just because everyone else did!
6. Notice how you and me are always online at the same time? You must be addicted.
7. If you got this message, I pulled myself off the computer in order to take a brief break. I really doubt that I’ll be gone long, and if I am, I am most definatly going through withdrawl, so please, stay, talk, I will return within seconds
8. Cute enough to make you look twice, Sweet enough but not too nice, A lil crazy but not too wild, The kinda girl that’ll make you smile
9. God made mud, God made dirt, God made boys so girls can flirt
10. If your name was sleep, I would be doing you in bed right nowI can’t be with you So all I will do is sleep. Please don’t wake me up from this dream For it’s all of you that I can keep
11. As I lay in my bed looking at the sky I thought ‘Were the heck did my ceiling go?
12. This is a sad and funny away message. The sad thing is you’re IMing me expecting me to read your message and return. The funny thing is that I’m at my computer desk laughing the whole thing up right now.
13. If you sleep with a girl without protection, you’re having sex with everyone your partner had sex with before. So if your girlfriend slept with a guy, who slept with your ex g/f, who you slept with, technically you could be screwing yourself.
14. I am off in that wonderful land where I can have anything i want!! When i wake up i’ll have to face reality for the next 12 hours so !!Leave me alone!!
15. Looking in the mirror Here’s what I see A sad little girl staring back at me She acts so tough And so grown up But that’s not who she really is And it’s not who she wants to be I know this because that little girl is Me
16. Somewhere there’s someone who dreams of your smile and finds your presence in life worthwhile so when you are lonely remember it’s true somebody somewhere is thinking of you.
17. You know what pisses me off? People who point at the wrist when asking the time, i know where my watch is buddy where they f**k is yours? I mean do I point at my crotch when I ask where the bathroom is??
18. I ran into my ex the other day, then I put the car in reverse and ran over him again
19. The sky was dark, The moon was high, We were alone, just her and I, Her hair was brown, her eyes were too I knew just what she wanted to do, So with my courage I did my best, I placed my handupon her breast, I trembled and shook and felt her heart, Slowly she spread her leags apart, I knew she was ready, But I didnt know how, It was my first try, At milking a cow.
2. Todays another day time for new beginnings, yesterday I said mean things, but you know I didn’t mean it. It’s like running out on someone you love even though you still love them, all I needed was time to think, and realize how lucky I am. So when I said don’t talk to me and slammed the door in your face, what I meant to say was I love you and my door is always open, life wouldn’t be the same without you by me every step of the way
3. Im not addicted…I’m just affraid of that voice that says ‘goodbye’
4. My two biggest problems are addiction to the internet and procrastination. I’m away from the Internet now…I’ll work on procrastination later
5. I hate it when someone asks me ‘If everyone else jumped off a bridge, would you do it too?’ So, I’m on my way to go jump off a bridge because I wanted to be a trend setter and jump off the bridge first. I won’t be jumping just because everyone else did!
6. Notice how you and me are always online at the same time? You must be addicted.
7. If you got this message, I pulled myself off the computer in order to take a brief break. I really doubt that I’ll be gone long, and if I am, I am most definatly going through withdrawl, so please, stay, talk, I will return within seconds
8. Cute enough to make you look twice, Sweet enough but not too nice, A lil crazy but not too wild, The kinda girl that’ll make you smile
9. God made mud, God made dirt, God made boys so girls can flirt
10. If your name was sleep, I would be doing you in bed right nowI can’t be with you So all I will do is sleep. Please don’t wake me up from this dream For it’s all of you that I can keep
11. As I lay in my bed looking at the sky I thought ‘Were the heck did my ceiling go?
12. This is a sad and funny away message. The sad thing is you’re IMing me expecting me to read your message and return. The funny thing is that I’m at my computer desk laughing the whole thing up right now.
13. If you sleep with a girl without protection, you’re having sex with everyone your partner had sex with before. So if your girlfriend slept with a guy, who slept with your ex g/f, who you slept with, technically you could be screwing yourself.
14. I am off in that wonderful land where I can have anything i want!! When i wake up i’ll have to face reality for the next 12 hours so !!Leave me alone!!
15. Looking in the mirror Here’s what I see A sad little girl staring back at me She acts so tough And so grown up But that’s not who she really is And it’s not who she wants to be I know this because that little girl is Me
16. Somewhere there’s someone who dreams of your smile and finds your presence in life worthwhile so when you are lonely remember it’s true somebody somewhere is thinking of you.
17. You know what pisses me off? People who point at the wrist when asking the time, i know where my watch is buddy where they f**k is yours? I mean do I point at my crotch when I ask where the bathroom is??
18. I ran into my ex the other day, then I put the car in reverse and ran over him again
19. The sky was dark, The moon was high, We were alone, just her and I, Her hair was brown, her eyes were too I knew just what she wanted to do, So with my courage I did my best, I placed my handupon her breast, I trembled and shook and felt her heart, Slowly she spread her leags apart, I knew she was ready, But I didnt know how, It was my first try, At milking a cow.
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